Dataset filter by user login to a table with reference field

You need to use code for that.
You can create an afterQuery hook for the Children collection to retrieve their parentId (you’ll need to have there .include() ).
Something like:

//backend/data.js
import wixData from 'wix-data';
export function Children_afterQuery(item, context) {
    retrun wixData.query(Children)
    .eq("_id", item._id)
    .include("parents")
    .find()
    .then(r => 
    if(r.items.length > 0){
    item.parents = r.items[0].parents;
    }
    return item;
    })
}

and in the front end use code to filter based on the id;

There’re other ways to it, but they all need code.